Person X
by dragonprincess1988
Summary: Tim's been having a problem with a friend lately; so Dick, like any good brother, gives him some advice on the matter.


Tim angrily pushed the keyboard away from himself before he slammed his hands down onto the desk. "Stupid, pain in the ass... What the hell? Do you even think? For the love of..."

Dick edged closer to where Tim was sitting, clearly having a minor fit. "Tim, is everything okay?"

Tim stopped and tensed immediately at the sound of Dick's voice. He took a moment to visibly calm himself, before he turned to face Dick. "I thought I was down here alone. Sorry."

Dick could tell that Tim was about to bolt towards the stairs, so he discreetly moved to block Tim's exit. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

Tim shook his head. "I'm...I'm just having a minor/major problem with a close friend."

Dick raised an eyebrow at him. "Please, tell me that you don't mean the computer. I mean, that's okay if you do. I just think that if you're forming deep personal relationships with electronics that we should probably consider getting you to go out more often."

Tim gave a small smile at Dick's joke. "No, no, it's nothing that creepy. It's just that...well, certain companions of mine aren't exactly logical."

Dick continued to just stare at Tim's cryptic wording. "Um, Tim, it's a computer. It can't really be illogical."

Tim punched Dick's arm...lightly...for a Bat. "Stop being a jerk. You know that I was talking to a friend on the internet."

Dick smiled as he rubbed his arm. "Yeah, and don't think I haven't noticed how you left out a name...and the gender of said friend."

Tim rolled his eyes. "Is it so wrong that I don't want you doing background checks on everyone I talk to? I mean, it's bad enough that I do it." 

Dick laughed-not because it was funny, but because it was true. "Okay, fine; I guess I can let you have one secret." Tim raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. "Okay, one _more_ secret. But anyway, what's your problem with Person X."

Tim raised an eyebrow at him. "Person X?"

Dick nodded. "Yes, Person X, or otherwise known as person who shall remain nameless, and, knowing you, genderless."

Tim gave him a mock thoughtful pose for a second. "Yeah, knowing me, you're probably right."

Dick smiled again as he nodded. "So, as I was saying, what's your problem with Person X?"

Tim sighed as he sat down again in his chair by the desk. "It's a long story, but basically...it just gets to me sometimes how illogical Person X can be."

Dick sat down on the desk next to Tim to listen. "Well, you are aware that most people can't just disengage their emotions the way that you do, right?"

Tim gave him a sour expression. "Disengage? My emotions are not a ripcord, Dick, but I get what you're saying, and I know that. It's just...well, sometimes I wish certain people could, or at least wouldn't get so defensive when I do."

Dick sighed as he placed a hand on Tim's shoulder. "Timmy, you know that for most people that just isn't normal, right?"

Tim nodded once. "Yeah, I know, and I completely get what Person X's problem with it is, but that doesn't mean that I can just stop doing it. It's so much more than a defense mechanism, Dick. It really does just come naturally to me."

Dick squeezed Tim's shoulder for a moment. "Yeah, I know it does, little brother, but that doesn't make it a good thing."

Tim sighed. "I never said that it was a good thing, but that's not even really the problem that I'm having with Person X."

Dick raised an eyebrow. "Oh? So, what's the real problem you're having with Person X."

Tim heaved another large sigh. "I make completely logical arguments to whatever Person X and I are fighting about, and Person X just ignores it for a double standard, because...well, Person X hasn't actually even given me a real reason why there is a double standard in place, but there is; and there really is no way to fight illogic with logic. That's like fighting Joker with proof of his insanity...while it may all be accurate, it really isn't going to stop him from beating you to death."

Dick laughed. "Person X is obviously female."

Tim smiled slightly. "Gee, how did you guess?"

Dick squeezed Tim's shoulder again. "It's a female thing, Tim. My advice? Nod, hide, and wait until it passes."

Tim's eyes widen slightly at that. "One, that seems really damn cowardly, and two, you wonder why you and Babs broke up."

Dick looked like he wanted to punch Tim, but he restrained himself. "Okay, Boy Wonder, what's the alternative?"

Tim sighed as he rubbed his temples. "Fight until your head hurts, and feels like it's going to explode."

Dick nodded as he turned to walk away. "Uh huh, so you have fun fighting. Me? I'm going to go get some of Alfred's chocolate cake."

Tim perked up at that. "Alfred made chocolate cake?"

Dick stopped at the foot of the stairs. "Yup, and it's upstairs, just waiting for us."

Tim quickly shut down everything that he had opened on the computer, and then ran towards the stairs. "Well, screw that. I think that, in this instance, I'll take the cowards way out."

Dick smiled as he wrapped an arm around Tim's shoulders. "Yes, you say this now, but when Steph shows up to yell at you..."

Tim glared over at Dick. "And who said that it was Steph that I was talking to?"

Dick grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Oh, you're going to make me do detective work, aren't you, little brother?"

Tim smirked evilly. "Maybe, but cake first."

Dick laughed as he ran up the stairs, taking three at a time. "I concur."

The End


End file.
